<![CDATA[I DO YOGA FORUM]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com 60 Wed, 16 May 2012 13:20:44 GMT <![CDATA[goodbye old me....??]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5235616 So I am cleaning out my closet today... holding up all of my smaller clothes and throwing them away. In the process of that I unearthed a bunch of my old diaries. The diaries that I had when I was the kind of girl who needed to starve herself... the girl who hated herself. I am having a hard day today, throwing away the skinny clothes and the diaries. I want it all gone. I don't ever want to be that girl again, yet I am a whirlwind of emotions. It is not easy to accept that I am heavier. I cannot look in the mirror today- I feel like I did when I first stopped starving myself and I had to avoid all mirrors like the plague because every time I look(ed) at myself I sart feeling panicky and like I am huge and disgusting, unworthy, unlovable.... It is hard to breathe today. I am trying to celebrate myself. Trying to celebrate my new body and my new outlook on life, the freedom from hating myself and punishing myself by starving myself. I am healthy. I am happy. I am kind. I am loving. I enjoy life. I. CAN. DO. THIS.

]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5235616 Mon, 09 May 2011 21:15:24 GMT <![CDATA[back again]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5115872 cross legged. Infact I am sitting cross legged right now, and the circulation in my legs is not cut off. I feel great!
But yesterday was different. Yesterday was hard. I felt scared and lonely and panicked yesterday. Very very unsure of myself and my body. I was looking in the mirror alot. I almost dug my scale out of its hiding place. (funny how I still have the damned thing... like I just can't throw it away... just can't make it permanent.... a new goal for me- THROW THE DAMN THING AWAY). Yeah, yesterday was rough. I kept thinking about this forum, thinking about my past unhappiness, my struggle with my weight, and wondering how many other women are out there who know what I am going through? How many women are tired of it? I wish that more people would post on here, but anyway I see that my posts are being read so that makes me feel better. I hope that somewhere out there someone can relate to what I have been saying here and that my struggles and new found knowledge can help someone who is at the point that I was- hating myself, starving myself, slowly killing my body and spirit.
Although the struggle has been hard and long, it has been a wonderful experience, and I am so much healthier and happier today.... I could go on and on about the things that have changed for me. Since I have stopped hating myself so much it has given me the ability to be more kind and patient and understanding to others. My relationship with my daughter is much much better. I am kinder and more patient and gentler with her. I have seen that make a difference in her, ofcourse, in the way she in turn treats others and how she responds to me. I am thinking about having another baby. I can handle swelling up like a balloon again. This time I will not starve myself and my baby. I will be healthier in body and mind. Despite a hard day every great once in a while I am loving my new attitude and the new life that I am creating for me, my husband, my daughter, and who know, maybe another child to come.
]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5115872 Mon, 28 Feb 2011 18:41:30 GMT <![CDATA[tired of being at war with my body]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4723667 Well quite recently I had an epiphany. A wake up call. Maybe it was because my heart palpatations that I had when doing my extreme workouts were beginning to worry me. Maybe it's because I finally just started using my brain. But for whatever reason I finally realized that I had to stop living my life like this. Why did I care how much I weighed?!?!? Did it REALLY make one ounce of a difference?????? Why did my whole happiness and self-worth depend on it????? And what kind of an example was I setting for my daughter who was already at the age of 5, complaining that certain shirts made her look fat????
The day that I "hid" my scale from myself was a very very scary day for me. Probably the scariest thing that I have done in a long long time. I started eating regular meals. When I felt hungry, I ate! I stopped staring in the mirror hating myself. I tried to think about positive things about my body. I tried to stop looking enviously at skinny girls. I tried to think about how beautiful curves are. It was so hard, and I do mean the sick to your stomach with worry kind of hard, but so wonderful at the same time. I started to feel better almost immediatley. I wasnt tired, I wasnt starving, weak, cranky, or even a quarter as stressed out feeling. I became aware of how much I had let my hatred of my body take over my life and it hurt. So many years I wasted trying to acheive something that I never did acheive. I stayed at the same general weight for 6 years and spend the entire 6 years fighting to lose weight- why did it take me so long to wake up???? I also became aware of how much I compared myself to other women- and I didnt like it. There is a saying "when you compare you either feel inferior or superior; neither of which is beneficial." I repeated that saying to myself whenever I started to compare myself to other women and I realized how shallow I had been behaving in my obsession with my weight and other people's weight. It did not make me happy.
I just want to feel at peace with myself. To not feel sick to my stomach when I eat a big meal. To not feel sick to my stomach when a skinny girl walks by. I want to accept my natural weight and even farther than that I want to love  my natural weight and my body. I sure am loving not feeling so weak and dizzy and stressed out. I am starting to get back in touch with things that are really important in life. And I am hoping that the book I just got in the mail is going to help me to accept and love my body.

]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4723667 Wed, 19 May 2010 02:14:56 GMT <![CDATA[hello? anyone?]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4707207 I was so excited to find this website. after searching the internet and finding tons of forums where women were writing posts talking about how much they hated their bodies and all the things they were doing to change their bodies- like starving themselves and working out to rediculous amounts (things I admit I am guilty of as well) I was so happy to find this website that encouraged women to accept their bodies and to stop wasting life being miserable and pushing to acheive rediculously impossible body expectations. I was so excited that it took me a while to realize that nobody has posted on this site since 2007!! Where is everyone? what happened to amandat? she never finished her postings of her 30 day challenge. I want to know what happened? Hasn't anybody else bought the book and taken the challenge? Are there any women out there who have learned to accept their bodies and to love their bodies with all of the imperfections included?? If you go to a website about how to be anorexic you will find it overflowing with participants. But a website about accepting and loving your body the way it is is like a ghost town. There's nobody posting here! I am anxiously waiting my copy of the book because I am tired of being miserable and hating my body and ruining my life to try to acheive this idea of "perfection." I am going to read the book, do the challenge, and post on here what the results are and I hope that other women find it helpful and start coming here and posting as well. Enough with the self-hatred! We need to do something positive and enjoy ourselves and our lives.

]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4707207 Fri, 07 May 2010 13:47:24 GMT <![CDATA[Body Shape]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=2218232 I like the concept of finding your natural body shape. It goes deeper than clothes. You can pick out the best looking outfit and have it tailored perfectly to your figure but if you feel insecure on the inside than the outfit does nothing.
I have struggled with my confidence for many years. I have a terrible fear of stage fright but I am constantly pushing myself to break out of that confront zone. I am much more secure with how I look. But I still struggle with the social confidence. Anyway, that's a little introduction. Please feel free to visit my website and I would be glad to guide you in shopping choices.

Talk to you soon.
Jaylynn Perkins
http://www.dressyourbodytype.com

]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=2218232 Fri, 12 Oct 2007 23:09:24 GMT <![CDATA[My 30-Day Challenge Week 3]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=1961038 Day 15

 

A new mindset is a fragile thing, something to be protected from the onslaught of the old mindset and from conditioned responses to outside stimuli.

 

Being back in my hometown and working on changing my mindset, I am becoming increasingly aware that my attitude towards my body stems from my desire to be in control of something.  Because I had absolutely no control over anything around me that affected me so deeply. Things like educational policy -- policy that deemed me a failure because I had no aptitude for essay writing in a different language.  Of the eight subjects that I took, I scored 5-As, 2-Bs and a D.  You guessed it… the ‘D’ was in essay writing in a second language.  Because the second language was one of the required subjects for entry to junior college, I was thrown on the trash heap of “useless” students who have no potential and thus considered a failure.  On hindsight, I would hardly consider myself a failure or stupid or lacking in any potential.

 

Carried by the wave of “failure” I felt completely out of control, realizing that being unable to go on to junior college and then to university, my future looked as though it was being flushed down the toilet.  I of course, have since learnt that life takes you by many different paths and success can be obtained by many different means and not by one very narrowly defined path.   However, back in the ‘80s, thin was in and being an impressionable teenager looking at fashion magazines, I too aspired to be thin.  That at least seemed to be an attainable goal that merely required discipline – something that I was good at – I could be very disciplined, and did not require me to write any essays in a different language.

 

My weight and dress size seemed to be the only thing in life that I was in control of.  That and also growing up in a home and society that used negative reinforcement to get people to comply. 

]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=1961038 Sat, 16 Jun 2007 02:35:02 GMT <![CDATA[My 30-day Journal Week 2]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=1939314
Destressing is not the easiest thing, in fact, determining not to let things get to you requires completely changing one's mindset.

This week, I am visiting my mother.  For a whole month before I came for the visit, I was preparing myself for the usual criticism -- Amanda, you've put on weight... you need to do more situps and improve your waistline!  Amanda, you're overeating... Amanda, you need to go on a diet... -- on and on it goes.  I was bracing myself.  This of couse, led to stress.

As I sat quietly in the simple cross-legged position, just being with my body, I decided to be a friend to myself.  I determined that no matter what was said to me, I would stick up for myself, even if I didn't say it out loud to my mother, I would stick up for myself in my heart and mind.  I would tell myself that I look good, that the effort that I've made so far is valid and that losing another 16lbs isn't going to happen overnight.  I would validate myself!

Even though I have lost 24lbs since I gave birth to my second baby and am well on my way to fitting back into my size 4 jeans, I felt nervous and anxious.  Lo and behold, when I got to my mother's house with my two boys, I found that I am currently the thinnest of my sisters.  I am normally in the middle.  My eldest sister being the thinnest, my second sister being the fattest and I am in between the two of them, but by no means ideal.

Not only that, but when the moment finally arrived for my mother's usual critical inspection, she said, "You've slimmed down a lot since I last saw you!"
"I've lost 24lbs."
"Well, just try to find some balance -- it's not good to be too thin either -- then you get all kinds of health problems!"

I was floored by my mother's comment!  Well, things certainly have changed!  It used to be that you could never be thin enough!

]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=1939314 Wed, 06 Jun 2007 00:29:30 GMT <![CDATA[My 30-day Challenge Journal Week 1]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=1867329  

Barbara challenged me to do a 30-day awareness exercise, the objective being to cultivate my natural body shape. Here is my journal…

 

Day 1

 

Task: Pick a body part that you either dislike the most or absolutely hate, and spend 10 minutes just being aware of it.  Record all the thoughts and emotions that come from the 10-minute awareness.

 

Journal Entry:  Pick a body part that you hate… Obviously – my thighs!  What do I absolutely hate about my thighs?  I can sum it up in one word – CELLULITE!   I have very bad cellulite all over the backs of my thighs.  Ripples of unsightly fat trapped under my skin.  I’ve had this all my life and I hate it.  I don’t remember a time when I didn’t have cellulite.  Lard lines all up and down the backs of my thighs.  The worst part is where my thigh connects with my butt, now it seems to be uglier than ever.  I’ve exercised hard all my life, but the lard lines never come off!  I suppose it’s genetic.  Both my sisters have the same problem.  Take a deep cleansing breath – breathe in, breathe out.

]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=1867329 Tue, 01 May 2007 18:07:53 GMT <![CDATA[The 30-day Challenge]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=1867286 The 30-day Challenge is designed to help you make that mind-body connection.  It is a difficult challenge and requires commitment. When I took my own thirty day challenge, my first emotion was sadness that I had spent so many years hating my stomach. Good Luck! 
 
Barbara Moroney

How to take the 30-day Challenge
 
1. Identify the part of your body that you would like to focus on.

2. Draw a heart on this part. (Alternatively, paste a sticker, if you like).

3. Set a timer (for example on your computer, or on the clock in a room) for the same time each day.

4. When the timer goes off, focus on this body part. You may also breathe into the area, as well. Do not try to change anything; just observe the thoughts and feelings as they come up.

5. Keep a daily journal of your thoughts and feelings and any other related experiences. For most effective results, focus on this body part as many times during the day as you can remember. And get one or more friends to take the challenge with you.

6. This challenge is most effective if the days are consecutive. If you miss more than one or two days, start over.

7. Post your experiences, results and comments on our 30-day challenge bulletin board




]]> http://naturalbodyshape.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=1867286 Tue, 01 May 2007 17:50:52 GMT